it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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