There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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