she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
