i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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