you would pick up someone in the library
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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