8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Are we still banned from the library?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
