He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
