Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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