He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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