Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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