drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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