can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
