I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
