mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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