So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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