They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
