I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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