Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
