a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
