Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
