So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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