We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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