She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
