What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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