all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
