I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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