You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
