He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
