I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
