were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
