She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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