i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
