get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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