Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we made out on top of his cat.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize