i think my mom watched the whole time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
