whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
