Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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