She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
