I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
