She announced her abortion via fbk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
