shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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