I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
