After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
