his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize