You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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