So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
