So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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