I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
