The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
tell me about the eggs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
