That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize