This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Your penis caused this!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
