so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This is my gift to your gina
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
