i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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