I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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