Where are you?
In a non slutty way
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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