yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
