U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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