Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
