he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
