My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
