Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
