we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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