Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
