To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
