omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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