yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize