I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
