Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
