these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
